Wisdom Ought to be Attractive, Part 2

Have you experienced the attractiveness of wisdom (Pr 1:9)?  I have.

The greatest struggles in my relationship with my wife Erin usually center on money issues.  In our best moments, when we acquire some unexpected funds, my gut instinct is to give them away, and Erin’s gut instinct is to save them for the future (especially for our children).  Both instincts are biblically informed and reasonably selfless.  Yet every time the situation arises, we must make a decision on what to do.  How should we go about it?

One way I could do it is to make a power play.  “Well Darling, I’m the head of this household.  So here is what I think we should do….”  I’ve tried this method before, but it rarely results in the swoons and contented sighs I expect.  Nor has she said, “I’m so glad to have such a wise husband to make these difficult decisions for me.”  But other tactics have been more helpful.

1. I try to listen to her: “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Pr 18:13, ESV).
2. I attempt to draw out her concerns: “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out” (Pr 20:5).
3. I consider first how I need to change before we can make a good decision on this issue: “Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes?  There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Pr 26:12).
4. I seek to approach any faulty thinking I see in her in a way that lowers her defenses rather than raising them. This tactic requires me to know what serves her: “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle” (Pr 18:19).  For Erin, this means that I introduce any criticism with “I love you, and it’s just a small thing, but…”
5. In the rare cases when I have actually followed through on these wise principles, she usually wants to follow my lead!  “They are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck” (Pr 1:9).

If you are a parent or leader of any sort, would you prefer for your children, students, or congregation members to follow your influence only when they have no other option, and then pull away from you once they do?  Or would you prefer for them to be so attracted to the godly wisdom they find in you that they’re always coming back for more?

Let’s commit to trusting in Christ, seeking him daily, and transforming our world for his glory.