It’s Worth It to Know Your People

I used to meet with a guy to study the Bible. He was a quick learner and teachable, and he became a good friend. In general, our Bible study was not extraordinary, but quite good nevertheless.  I remember, however, the day the Bible study went from being merely quite good to being great.

The girl of this young man’s dreams had just broken up with him. He had the guts to meet with me anyway; in his place, I would have chosen to stay home in bed. Instead of having our regular discussion, I took him out and bought him the tallest mocha he could handle. Then we walked it off along a busy road and spoke of life, love, hurt feelings, and how God’s word spoke to us in those painful moments. Our time in the word paid back many dividends that day and launched us into weeks of richer study than we had yet enjoyed together.

According to the Lord’s perspective, no Bible study will succeed unless the leader loves the participants (1 Cor 12:27-13:13). In this case, I did something anyone would do, which was simply to listen, encourage, and enter this fellow’s life. Most of the time, however, I’m too stingy to pay the cost of loving others. Love feels like an interruption. It requires more forethought or creativity than I’m willing to invest. And it takes me away from other, more “productive” tasks on my to-do list.

Jerm (2008), Creative Commons

One of the best ways to love the people in your group is to get to know them. In a pristine world, we might be motivated to do this simply by knowing it’s what God wants us to do. But God has no problem motivating us to obey with the promise of reward, so neither will I.

When I struggle with the call to invest in relationships with people (Mark 1:17, 1 Thess 2:8, 2:17-3:13), I try to remember why it’s worth it. In particular, why is it worth it to build relationships with people outside of the Bible study meeting?

1. It makes your application more relevant. When you know what’s going on in people’s lives, you’ll be more equipped to help them make specific application.
2. It shows them Christ. When people know their leader cares for them personally, it’s easier for them to believe Jesus cares for them.
3. It sharpens your insight. You’ll know their highs and lows, and you’ll be able to steer the Bible study discussion toward those very things they have on their minds.
4. It bolsters your credibility. When they know you care about them, they’ll trust you. When you speak hard truths from God’s word, that trust helps the truth sink in more deeply.

Of course, we should love people because God wants us to. And he made the world to work in such a way that everyone benefits from honoring him. When you struggle to believe love is worth the inconvenience, remind yourself of how much more you have to lose than a bit of time or forethought.