This week, courtesy of the Christian satire site, Babylon Bee, we bring you 10 super-helpful Bible reading tips. Please remember these tips are not only helpful, but super helpful to your devotional life.
- Carefully select the Bible that looks the coolest.
- Broadcast your quiet time on every outlet available.
- Pray that God would reveal how awesome you are.
- Take it easy.
- Figure out the context of a verse, and then disregard it completely.
- Draw elaborate doodles all over the text.
- Allegorize literally everything.
- Make every effort to apply the difficult texts to everyone in the world except yourself.
- Keep in mind, every verse means “judge not.”
- Remember who it’s all about: you.
For a richer explanation of these magisterial skills and how you can perfect them, make sure to see the full article.
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This is good, Peter. But it took a lot longer for me to do my Bible reading this way this morning. Particularly step 7. I’m just not creative enough to do things your way. I guess I’m stuck with historical-grammatical interpretation. Sigh…
Well, “step 7” really just refers to the 7th commandment. And the 7th day of creation. So, as long as you had a restful time while remaining sexually pure, then Christ in you is your hope of glory, brother.