Knowing Your People Helps You Ask Better Questions

Tegan Mierle (2016), public domain

One of the underused gems on this blog is Peter’s series on How to Lead a Bible Study. It’s thorough, practical, helpful, and winsome. If you haven’t read those articles, I recommend it.

Loving Your People

One dynamite entry in Peter’s series is One Vital Behavior Determines the Success of Your Teaching Ministry. In that post Peter writes about the importance of leaders loving their people. Leaders are called to this investment, and without love their teaching will be like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

But what effect does this love have within a small group? Peter explains what happens when a leader gets to know the people within the group.

• It makes the leader’s application more relevant.
• It shows the people Christ.
• It sharpens the leader’s insight.
• It bolsters the leader’s credibility.

Yes, I can see it! When I am actively building relationships with my small group members, it makes me more effective as a leader and it conveys greater benefits to my friends during our meetings.

After a recent small group meeting, I was reflecting on one of my subpar questions. I came back to this point about knowing my people. Had I remembered the experiences and backgrounds of my friends, I would have asked better questions.

The Questions to Avoid

Knowing my friends helps me avoid certain questions. For example, if one of my small group members has a grown child who has turned away from Christ, I probably will not ask a launching question related to apostasy. Instead of warming this person up for participation in the discussion, it might have just the opposite effect.

There are other sorts of questions I might avoid if I know my friends’ backgrounds and personalities.

• When I know there is pain, bitterness, or sensitivity related to a certain issue, I won’t ask that person for a comment on an application related to that issue.
• If a group member has an issue about which they are outspoken and passionate, I will be careful when we discuss that topic. Having a person like this in the group also makes me careful about just how open-ended my questions are.
• Some people learn and grow more by listening and processing instead of speaking. Some people who are going through heavy or sad events in their lives benefit from attending a small group but not participating much. Knowing my people can help me recognize and respect this.

I’m not saying that small groups should avoid all difficult or sensitive topics. But some times are better than others for those discussions. My small group time is limited, so in my attempt to keep our meeting length reasonable—and, often, in an effort to respect and love a hurting friend—I’ll try to have some of those hard conversations outside of small group.

The Questions to Ask

As I’ve gotten to know my small group members, I realize just how much work God has done in their lives. And I want the rest of my group to know it too!

It is a great encouragement, especially to younger believers, to hear of testimonies to God’s goodness and faithfulness to his people. This can give boldness and practicality to application discussions within a small group.

• If a member of your small group has a history of beginning evangelistic conversations with friends, ask them to share an example when discussing application related to spreading the gospel. (It’s not a bad idea to warn/ask them ahead of time!)
• Suppose one of your application questions will emphasize the training/growth that’s necessary as a disciple of Jesus. If some of your small group members have a sports background, you could incorporate athletic training into a targeted launching question.
• Depending on the purpose of the group and the relationships within it, you could invite a friend to share a doubt or question about the Christian faith. If a member is weighed down by questioning their salvation and someone else in the group has wrestled with that same concern, this might be a valuable conversation to have as a group.

Closing

One of the great benefits of small group Bible studies is the interaction between group members. When a leader knows the people in the group, they can ask and avoid certain questions to make that interaction even more valuable.