When Small Group Members Are Reluctant to Participate

Many small group Bible study leaders face long periods of silence during their meetings. They ask a question. They get no answer.

This awkwardness may be due to the quality of their question. Asking a good question that provokes thoughtful responses is hard! Unanswered questions may also be due to an atmosphere in the group that stifles interaction.

The last reason I’ve offered for these silent stretches is the people in the group. Some people are simply reluctant to participate.

Let’s be clear: People are not a problem to fix. Rather, it is our job as leaders to love our people.

Outside of Group Meetings

There are scores of reasons for people to be hesitant to engage in discussion about the Bible. These reasons may spring from bad experiences, feelings of inadequacy, or even social anxiety.

A small group leader should not guess or assume what’s going on. They should get to know their group members outside of the group meetings.

Relationships take time and effort, but a little can go a long way. Phone calls, emails, and conversations over coffee can help to break down barriers and build trust, friendship, and understanding.

With specific attention to small group discussion, these outside-the-meeting conversations can offer a lot of missing information. Group members can open up about their experiences, and they may be willing to share why they don’t often engage in the conversation.

If you are a small group leader trying to get to know their people outside of the group meetings, I have two broad pieces of advice. First, emphasize how much you value their presence in the group. Whether or not they participate, their membership in your small community counts.

You might also ask how you could make the discussion more helpful to them. The quiet members of your group may have insights about the group and your leadership that you haven’t considered.

These reluctant friends should know that you value any contribution they make and that you are eager for them to engage more—if and when they are comfortable doing so.

During Group Meetings

Getting to know members of a small group is a huge step forward, and it will help leaders during small group Bible study meetings.

It’s not hard to find gradual ways to involve members in the conversation. We can ask them to read portions of Scripture, to summarize the conversation from the previous meeting, or to answer some easier/observation questions. In this way we can build up the confidence of our quieter friends and help them feel more comfortable in the group.

Another strategy for involving quieter group members is to call on them by name (instead of throwing a question out to the whole group). We should only do this if we know in advance this won’t embarrass anyone, and we can even contact the person ahead of time and ask for permission and/or share the question we plan to ask them. When calling on a person by name, I usually include an easy way for them to politely decline to answer.

If our group members know that we love them, and if we’ve created a good climate in our group, then regular, gentle encouragement will go a long way toward bringing people into the conversation.

While some people can and should be encouraged to take risks and participate, others should not. Part of getting to know the people in our groups involves knowing why they don’t often speak and whether or not that reason is an area for encouraging Christian growth. For example, a young woman who doesn’t speak because she is afraid of being wrong is different than a thirty-something man whose reluctance springs from persistent migraine headaches. We should work with and encourage the former while being understanding and patient with the latter. Love and leadership takes many forms!

Conclusion

Small group Bible studies come in a thousand different forms, and each group member offers something different. The best group leaders will get to know their friends well and encourage them to contribute when they are able.