Though Solomon gives 10 solid reasons to avoid sexual immorality in Prov 6:24-35, we still do it. Why would we do such a dumb thing?

Because in our folly, we believe what is not true. We lose sight of what really matters. We turn inward to focus on ourselves, and we set aside the fear of the Lord. We allow immorality’s smooth promises to woo us.

Perhaps you’ve capitulated to some of the following lies, in direct opposition to the corresponding truth from Proverbs.

1. It’s not that bad

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Perhaps sexual immorality  a mistake—even one that will leave me feeling guilty for days. But “evil”? Let’s try not to use such inflammatory language.

2. I’m free in Christ

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Jesus Solana (2012), Creative Commons

I’m saved by grace, so I’m free in Christ (to sin, that is). Of course, I don’t want to commit immorality; it’s just a besetting sin. I’m not truly captive to it; I’ll just have to struggle with it for the rest of my life.

3. It won’t cost much

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

I can afford a loaf of bread. A second look never hurt anybody. Anyway, Jesus already paid my debts.

4. I can handle it

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

Christians need to play with fire; it’s how they learn discernment. Plus, these pictures and sex scenes don’t tempt me as much as they used to.

5. It won’t hurt anybody

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

God gave me this hunger, so what else was I supposed to do with it? At least I’m not hurting anybody. This is just between me and God.

6. I can relate with people who struggle with this issue

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

Pornography and masturbation are so common today. I’m happy to be a wise counselor for others who struggle with it the way I do.

7. I can’t live without it

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

Jesus, please don’t come back too quickly. At least not until I get to experience great sex. My singleness is such a burden. Or my marriage isn’t fulfilling me as I had hoped. I won’t be happy unless I get to look and touch again tonight. And tomorrow night. And the next.

8. It will make the pain go away

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

Life is so hard. I’ve got deadlines I don’t think I can meet. There’s unresolved conflict so intense it makes me feel sick. My parents (or children, spouse, roommate) won’t stop nagging me. I failed my exam. My life is spinning out of control. I just need to get away from it all.

9. I’ll confess it to my accountability group

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

It’s a normal part of life. Everyone struggles with sexual sin. I’ll never be able to change it, but at least I keep it in the light by confessing it to others who will respect me for my openness. And I don’t judge them, either. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here.

10. It will be worth it

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

What I am feeling at this moment is more important than anything else. Feel, look, touch; don’t think. My assistant or supervisor makes me feel so much more loved than my spouse does. My fantasies should override my misgivings. Nobody will know about it.

—–

Of course, these lies are foolish, but that doesn’t stop us from believing them in the midst of temptation. The one who fears the Lord will identify the lies, replace them with the truth, and act accordingly. As we heed the reproofs of discipline, we find the way of life (Prov 6:23) in the one who died to give us life (John 15:12-14).

Which lies are you most likely to believe? Are there others you would add to the list?

Easy sex will keep you from being wise.

To make this point, Solomon lists ten consequences of sexual immorality in Proverbs 6:24-35. Before reading my list, I urge you to read the passage yourself and see how many consequences you can observe. Perhaps making your own list will help you to remember these things when you face temptation.

1. You’ll participate in evil

To preserve you from the evil woman,
from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. (Prov 6:24, ESV)

Immorality is evil, and temptation is an invitation to do evil. But wisdom preserves the wise from evil. When you believe the smooth and deceitful promises of immorality, you choose guilt by association: You are now evil as well.

2. Your desire will take you captive

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,
and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes. (Prov 6:25)

Victor Casale (2012), Creative Commons

It was for freedom that Christ has set you free, but immorality seeks to enslave you. Capitulation will become easier and easier. Resistance will become more and more difficult. Far better for you to rid your heart of these fantasies while you can.

3. You’ll lose everything

For the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread,
but a married woman hunts down a precious life. (Prov 6:26)

The cost begins low: only a loaf of bread. But with diminishing returns, you’ll need to give more and more until your very life is forfeit. Immorality hooks you while it’s cheap. A glance here, a touch there. But before you know it, you can’t sleep without sexual release. You simply can’t keep your hands off, and you’ll lose everything in the process.

4. Your punishment is inevitable

Can a man carry fire next to his chest
and his clothes not be burned?
Or can one walk on hot coals
and his feet not be scorched?
So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife;
none who touches her will go unpunished. (Prov 6:27-29)

You can’t tinker with immorality and hope to escape. You may be able to cover it up for a time, but you will eventually be found out. God sees everything, and he is a consuming fire.

5. You can’t repay what you’ve stolen

People do not despise a thief if he steals
to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry,
but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold;
he will give all the goods of his house…
[A jealous husband] will accept no compensation;
he will refuse though you multiply gifts. (Prov 6:30-31, 35)

The point is not to justify theft, but to condemn sexual immorality. People can understand a thief’s motives, though they still make him repay what he stole. How much less will they understand you when they find you out?

Perhaps you rob your present or future spouse of your best love and attention. Maybe you steal someone’s innocence. Or perhaps you continue supporting the horrific porn industry, which destroys young women and holds them captive. Pictures are never harmless; we must not lie to ourselves.

6. You’ll lack sense

He who commits adultery lacks sense. (Prov 6:32a)

There goes wisdom and, along with it, life and peace and satisfaction and joy.

7. You’ll destroy yourself

He who does it destroys himself. (Prov 6:32b)

We do it because it feels good. But, like an alcoholic who destroys his liver, or a smoker who disregards his lungs, we kill ourselves with good feelings. Easy sex is all about self-gratification, but Jesus said that he who loves himself loses himself. Wisdom pierces these feelings to find the truth.

8. You’ll create your own wounds

He will get wounds… (Prov 6:33)

It’s like touching a hot stove. Or using credit cards to spend money you don’t have. Or picking a scab. Or playing hopscotch on the interstate. You’ll hurt for it later, and you’ll have brought the hurt on yourself.

9. You’ll find dishonor and disgrace

He will get wounds and dishonor,
and his disgrace will not be wiped away. (Prov 6:33)

You set yourself up for constant reproach and a bad name. You’ll always be that guy who ran off with the girl and ruined a good thing (family, ministry, career, etc.).

10. You’ll lose every time

For jealousy makes a man furious,
and he will not spare when he takes revenge. (Prov 6:34)

Sexual immorality rightly infuriates. Jealous husbands will not spare on the day of revenge.

But what if your immorality doesn’t involve seducing a married person? Then there’s no jealousy to fear, right? “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). Remember that God, the Great Husband, has a special place in his heart for those with no human protectors. Can you watch your back when it comes to him?

If, like me, you have already failed in the sexual realm, take heart and remember there’s always hope in Christ. He provides a way out. This list is not to consign you forever to guilt and punishment, but to warn you from future folly.

This week we continue our study of the illusion of sexual freedom.

And now, O sons, listen to me,
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
Keep your way far from her,
And do not go near the door of her house,
Lest you give your honor to others
And your years to the merciless,
Lest strangers take their fill of your strength,
And your labors go to the house of a foreigner,
And at the end of your life you groan,
When your flesh and body are consumed,
And you say, “How I hated discipline,
And my heart despised reproof!
I did not listen to the voice of my teachers
Or incline my ear to my instructors.
I am at the brink of utter ruin
In the assembled congregation” (Prov 5:7-14, ESV).

Notice that the command to listen is repeated once again (Prov 5:7). Don’t let its familiarity cause you to hurry past it. Let it remind you of your need for help from outside yourself. Ask any recovering addict: You will not win this battle on your own.

Rochelle Hartman (2011), Creative Commons

Avoid immorality at all costs (Prov 5:8). Otherwise it will cause you to:

1. Lose your best years (Prov 5:9). The springtime of life could be spent on serving the Lord and growing his kingdom. Don’t give that up.
2. Squander your strength and the fruit of your labor (Prov 5:10). You’ll spend all your energy coping with your sin. Wouldn’t you rather have something else to look back on as your life’s work?
3. Regret all the waste and its wreckage (Prov 5:11). The night before I graduated from college, a hall mate asked if I had any regrets. I looked back over those four years, and with full honesty said, “No.” I hadn’t done everything perfectly, but the Lord had given me rest in him and in his work in my life. That night, I committed to living the rest of my life with the end in mind. I don’t regret that choice one bit.
4. Stagger from all of the guilt (Prov 5:12). You’ll finally identify the foolishness in your heart and the damaging behavior it led to. The weight of it will sink in.
5. Cower beneath all the shame (Prov 5:13). You’ll realize the problem wasn’t that you didn’t have enough information, but that you didn’t have enough conviction.
6. Despair at the public disgrace (Prov 5:14). You could be “that guy who ran off with the girl” back at your home church. I regret many indiscretions of my teen years. One particular incident came to light just before my high school graduation and crushed the respect a younger sister in Christ had for me. Her parting words – “How could you?” – remain etched in my memory.

I want to make two things very clear. First, we must not minimize the consequences of our sin. Consider: Is it worth it? Decide now, not when temptation happens. We also must not buffer others from the consequences of their sin. God saves sinners – I am foremost! – by breaking all their hope to pieces, leaving none but Jesus (Mat 21:42-44, Rom 7:7-12). Don’t hinder any work of God by boxing out the truth.

Second, if this passage has discouraged you, please remember Proverbs 4: There is always hope that we can grow. Solomon depicts the end of immorality on purpose. He does it so we might change course before the end arrives. If you’re reading Solomon, it’s not too late for you. Just do nothing, and you’ll ruin all. Fear the Lord, and anything can change.

Share your struggles with pastors or wise leaders. Ask them to help you figure out what you desire (since what we do is always a result of what we desire). Many people turn to sexual immorality out of a desire for control (when life feels out of control), escape (when things are difficult), or acceptance (when they feel rejected by those they care about most). Identify what God desires for you instead (that you know him and find long life, peace, pleasantness, etc.), and ask him to help you change. Then turn from your sinful desires and grasp new, godly desires. Once wisdom changes who you are, it will flow into everything you do.