Yesterday we saw the importance of looking for wisdom on the right path. Today I’d like to show you what it looks like to do this.

Charlie Barker (2011), Creative Commons

My friend Angie[1] struggled with manipulative, overbearing parents. She had become a Christian in college, and they did everything in their power to turn her back. They cut off her funding. They threatened to disown her. They prohibited contact with her siblings. She feared for her well-being and for her relationships. She felt truly stuck.

Angie’s instinct was to return to old patterns. She could give in by visiting on weekends and skipping church on Sunday. She could stop talking about faith in Christ. She could obey her parents’ every whim about who her friends could be, how to spend her money, and whether to be sexually active.

As she sought the Lord for counsel, however, she came to him with a listening ear and a teachable heart. She realized that things with her parents might get worse before they could get better, but that she had to honor the Lord and seek wisdom at all costs. She feared the Lord, and found hope that things could change.

The situation did in fact get worse. Angie’s parents did disown her. She had to move herself and her belongings to an undisclosed location and communicate with her parents through hand-written letters sent from her church’s address. Her church elders involved the police at appropriate times.

After a few years, however, walls started to come down. The heat calmed and healthy communication resumed. Her siblings grew to adulthood and found hope that they, too, could turn aside from bad patterns in the family. Some of them came to faith in Christ as a result. Her parents began attending church and hearing the gospel. One of them came to faith, and the other one is now actively considering Christ’s claims. Jesus broke in and brought life to this family, because this one young lady was willing to hold fast to him.

You, too, can get unstuck from whatever difficulties you face. Are you willing to choose the road to life?

To get unstuck from bad patterns, you should do whatever it takes to get wisdom. But where can you find it?

Hear, my son, and accept my words,
That the years of your life may be many.
I have taught you the way of wisdom;
I have led you in the paths of uprightness.
When you walk, your step will not be hampered,
And if you run, you will not stumble.
Keep hold of instruction; do not let go;
Guard her, for she is your life.
Do not enter the path of the wicked,
And do not walk in the way of the evil.
Avoid it; do not go on it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
For they cannot sleep unless they have done wrong;
They are robbed of sleep unless they have made someone stumble.
For they eat the bread of wickedness
And drink the wine of violence (Prov 4:10-17, ESV).

In this section, Solomon explains that there are only two possible trajectories in life: toward wisdom (Prov 4:11-13) or wickedness (Prov 4:14-17). If you are not on one path, you are on the other. Do you see why he just instructed us to do whatever it takes to get wisdom? The alternative is not worth it!

On the path of wisdom, you are more likely to live longer (Prov 4:10), honor God (Prov 4:11), avoid obstacles (Prov 4:12), and find life (Prov 4:13). On the path of wickedness, you are likely to find plenty of companionship (Prov 4:14-17) but not much else.

Notice how those on the way of evil end up becoming addicted to evil. Doing the wrong thing is the wicked person’s sedative (Prov 4:16) and sustenance (Prov 4:17); he just can’t live without it. He suffers from the worst kind of substance abuse.

Torben Hansen (2008), Creative Commons

Solomon is not saying that every person on this path is that evil; he’s saying that everyone on this path is on the way to becoming that evil. By illustrating the end of the road, he warns us to stay away. He’s like a police officer cautioning a teenage driver not to speed – not because every instance of speeding will produce disaster; but because, as he grows more reckless, he brings himself closer to the impending disaster without even realizing it.

What’s the point? You can’t toy with evil. You shouldn’t make friends with folly. Trusting yourself is never a good idea. The way to life is found in hearing and accepting God’s words (Prov 4:1). You can’t keep doing what you’re doing and hope to get unstuck. You’ve got to turn (Prov 4:15) and make a radical break from the norm before you’ll experience lasting change. Once you do, however, the way forward often becomes clear and effective.

I’m Stuck

I’ve been stuck for some time. There’s a certain person I’ve known most of my life who is very difficult to get along with. Our personalities clash, and our tastes diverge on just about everything. He doesn’t know Christ yet; thus, he doesn’t understand most of the life choices I’ve made. I’ve often felt personally attacked by his comments and attitudes.

I want this person to meet Christ and find life, but when we converse I end up feeling like I’m about 8 years old again and helpless to change things. After I got married, my wife helped me to see that all hope was not lost; God had provided many opportunities to build a healthier relationship. My self-protective fear had prevented me from seeing these opportunities, and the fear of the Lord would give me the wisdom to make changes. Only after I stopped worrying about protecting myself and started seeking to represent Christ, did I have hope that the relationship could get better. I have a long way to go, but I want to do whatever it takes to travel this path one step at a time.

Proverbs 4 explains the vital connection between wisdom and hope. If we don’t fear the Lord, we won’t be open to change. If we’re not open to change, we won’t change. If we don’t change, we’ll fail as agents of redemption to those around us. We won’t inspire them with hope that they can change. Then—guess what?—nothing ever changes.

Deana Archer (2006), Creative Commons

Are You Stuck?

Are you stuck? Stuck in a bad habit, a bad relationship, or a bad situation? Has your life failed to meet your expectations? Are you always too busy? Do the years keep flying by, yet without moving beyond the “same old, same old”?

For example, have you committed sexual immorality in the past? Will you ever be able to forget the memories or mental images? Can the damage done to yourself and others ever be undone? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Are you married to an angry, hurtful person? Is your relationship caught in the endless cycle of attack-remorse-apology without any lasting change?  How could you ever forgive? Can you get more help? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Were your parents critical of your every move? Did they care at all? As you grew up, did they miss all your major milestones? Did they abuse you verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually? How could you possibly trust another person again? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

Have your grown children rejected the Lord? Have you tried to win them back by every available means? Might you have been part of the problem, pushing them away with ungracious legalism, unrealistic expectations, harsh judgments, or emotional neediness? Can they ever return to the Lord or to a healthy relationship with you? The fear of the Lord can give hope.

There’s Hope

I’m not saying that the answers to these questions are easy. I’m not saying that wisdom will eliminate your pain and disappointment. But what I am saying is that there’s hope. One of our own poets, speaking of that hope which rises from fearing the Lord, said:

Hope springs eternal in the human breast:
Man never Is but always To be blest.[1]

There’s always hope. Real hope that it can change. Just do nothing, and it will certainly get worse. But fear the Lord, and it just might get better.

Proverbs 4:1-27 has three distinct units, each beginning with an address to one or more “sons.” The theme of “life” links the sections together. Solomon’s advice goes like this: First, do whatever it takes to get wisdom, and you’ll find life (Prov 4:1-9). Second, contrast the two roads before you to see which one leads to the life (Prov 4:10-19). Third, let the life become a part of who you are, and it will change everything you do (Prov 4:20-27). In other words, because God makes his life available in Jesus Christ, those who turn to him have hope that anything can change.[2]