I enjoyed yesterday’s panel discussion on leading with influence. The video is available here, or you can view it below.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRCGyU4gY-I
Leading with Influence Live Show
Join me this Tuesday, August 5, (11 PDT / 2 EDT) for a live show on Innovate 4 Jesus as I join Chris Hogan, Joshua Reich, and host Justin Blaney to discuss leading with influence.
Do you have questions about leadership and influence? Tweet your questions with #I4JLIVE or comment on the blog post here: www.i4j.org/lead. We’ll be taking questions from right now until Tuesday’s show!
To jog your thinking, you may want to check out the article I wrote for The Gospel Coalition about 1 Thessalonians and how Paul led with influence.
Why Vulnerability is So Hard
Yesterday I arrived at one of those small but significant decision points that threaten my composure and test the limits of my willingness to be known. It came when my coworker greeted me with his usual, “How are you today?”
I earnestly sought a perfunctory “Fine, how are you?” so I could move on from the greeting and get on with my day, but it eluded me. The truth was that I was not fine. Twice in the last week I had pled with dear friends who were departing from the faith, one into false doctrine and another into immorality. Both cases of apostasy hit me hard, and I had mourned and prayed over them, wondering what on earth God was doing.
So I cracked open the door—”I’m pretty sad today”—and it was costly to do so. It cost me a measure of self-confidence and self-respect. It cost me a few minutes of my life to explain what I was sad about. It reopened the wound and renewed the pain. It sucked more energy out of me, as I tried to balance openness with self-control (to avoid gossip, venting, or speaking other words that wouldn’t edify).
But such vulnerability is Christlike, and by faith I trust it was worth it.
J (2008), Creative Commons
Why is it so hard for us to be vulnerable with one another? Why do we struggle to lead and to teach the Scripture with transparency? Why are we more attracted to a pretense of perfection or a veneer of imperturbability? I can think of at least 3 reasons.
Theological Reasons
I have heard pastors say they won’t tell personal stories from the pulpit because it would get in the way of representing Christ. They believe that for Christ to shine brightly, they must completely get out of the way. So in private they’re happy to share of their need for grace, but their preaching focuses much more on proclaiming the truth than on incarnating it.
This same sort of thinking shows up when Bible study leaders think only about how to apply the text to the group members and not about how to apply it to themselves. One sign of this struggle is when their preparation time doesn’t feel devotional and they need to schedule separate personal time with the Lord.
I greatly respect those who want to “get out of the way” so people can see Christ. This desire to serve others at great cost to oneself is a noble one.
But I think the attempt misfires, for we miss the fact that God shows people himself by showing himself to people. He doesn’t merely declare truth; he demonstrates the truth and lives it out. He became a man and perfected his power in weakness. He demonstrates his love by dying for sinners. He exposed and disgraced himself that he might lead us to glory.
And so John can say that while no-one has seen God, Jesus has made him known (John 1:18). But at the same time, while no-one has seen God, they will see him if we love one another (1 John 4:12). For them to see, we must give them something to see.
Personal Reasons
Some brave souls like Eric, who commented on last week’s post, perceive pride and fear as the greatest enemies to vulnerability.
- We don’t want people to think less of us.
- We fear losing our position or influence.
- We don’t want to be a burden.
- We don’t want to be laughed at or seen as mistaken or needy.
Perhaps we even feel like our reputation—or at least our self-perception of it—signifies our standing with God, such that God’s pleasure is shown through others’ pleasure and people’s displeasure betrays God’s displeasure.
Whatever the exact issue, we find our identity in something other than the finished work of Christ. We must not forget the guttural cry of him who bowed his head and gave up his spirit (John 19:30).
Practical Reasons
My biggest struggle, as I mentioned above, is that vulnerability is hard work. It’s costly, and I’m often unwilling to pay that cost.
Many in the “theological reason” camp react rightly against those who see their leadership as an opportunity for dealing with their personal demons. If I’m vulnerable for my sake—to cleanse my conscience or even to get people to feel sorry for me—I have missed the point. There’s a foolish sort of vulnerability that serves nobody but myself, but there’s also a wise sort of vulnerability that serves others deeply (for example, see 2 Corinthians 11-12).
This wise vulnerability takes an effort. It requires forethought and godly character. It demands unwavering confidence in Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor 12:10).
When you teach the Scripture, beware sanitized hypocrisy.
Beware Sanitized Hypocrisy
The third practice for preparing effective Bible studies is to allow the message to change you. The fact should be obvious, but so often it’s not: We can’t teach what we haven’t learned. Our words are just words if we can’t show them by our lives. Paul said, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor 11:1, ESV), but his exhortation would have fallen flat if he hadn’t opened his life for them to see (1 Cor 9:1-7, 15-23; 10:32-33).
I’ve been really challenged by this point lately, especially when I feel pressed for time in my teaching preparation. It’s so hard to deal with the log in my eye before I try to remove the speck from others’ eyes!
But the biblical word for leaders who say one thing but do another is “hypocrite.” Of course, I might successfully avoid aggressive forms of hypocrisy: preaching integrity while robbing the church, promoting purity while secretly indulging immorality, etc. But how often do I sanitize my hypocrisy, justifying my sins of omission while passionately promoting their opposite? For example:
- Do I exhort people to confess their sins, but I never confess mine?
- Do I oppose pride and promote humility, but I’m afraid to let anyone see me when I’m weak?
- Do I preach about how much people need the grace of Christ, but I don’t reveal an inch of my own need for the grace of Christ?
- Do I urge people to love one another, but I believe my leadership position prevents me from having any close friends?
- Do I want people to be open to feedback, but I never ask for it myself?
Shepherds shepherd, and leaders lead. This means they go out in front and don’t ask people to do anything they haven’t done first. So before Jesus asked Peter to feed his lambs and die (John 21:15-19), he was the Good Shepherd who laid down his own life for the sheep (John 10:11). So also Paul can beg the Corinthians to open wide their hearts to him after his heart was opened wide to them (2 Cor 6:11-13). And Jonathan can call his armor bearer to come up after him; Jonathan goes first to make them fall, and the armor bearer simply mops up after him (1 Sam 14:12-13).
This kind of leadership requires two kinds of vulnerability:
- When preparing to lead a study, we must allow the text to change us.
- When leading the study, we must explain how the text has changed us.
rikdom (2007), Creative Commons
This means that I must apply the Scripture to myself before I try to apply it to anyone else. And when appropriate, I must be willing to share these lessons to give people a model for how the text can change them. After practicing these things, I’ll be in a position to suggest further applications for others.
Hear Jesus’ warning against those who wouldn’t do what they asked others to do:
The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so practice and observe whatever they tell you – but not what they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, and they love the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues and greetings in the marketplaces and being called rabbi by others. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all brothers. And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. The greatest among you shall be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matt 23:2-12)
I have some ideas about why such vulnerability is so difficult, and I’ll write about them next week. But in the meantime, I’d like to hear what you think. Question: Why do you think it’s hard for us to be vulnerable in our leadership?
Dependence vs. Diligence
I’m sitting in a Bible study, digging into a psalm with a group of people, when a woman bursts out, “Why are we wasting our time with all this study? Why can’t we just read—instead of studying—and depend on the Lord?”
I’ve never read a well-reasoned defense of this perspective, so I don’t want to caricature it unfairly. But I’ve bumped into its proponents with regularity. Usually, there’s a claim that Bible study is too academic and disengaged from character and obedience. And that relating with God should be natural and full of chemistry and compatibility.
Thus, the reasoning goes, working hard at Bible study is like reading a manual about sex. It deflates the personal, relational component by replacing the beloved with mere information about the beloved.
But the illustration (and the perspective, I daresay) misses the fact that this “manual” wasn’t written by a disinterested third party but by the Beloved himself. The book explains how he wants to be known. Is it an act of dependence to disregard diligence in understanding it?
Jess Sand (2009), Creative Commons
For example, my wife occasionally sends me text messages with to-do reminders. Could I possibly express my love for her by failing to observe and interpret them well? If she asks me to buy milk, would she be delighted with buffalo wings? When she has a book on reserve at the library, does she want me to read it there and return it to the shelf?
I have much agreement with the people I describe in this post. I want to depend on the Lord. I don’t think knowledge about God should ever replace knowledge of God. I think we misread the book if we don’t know the person behind it.
But couldn’t it be the case that diligence is a sign of dependence? When building a bunk bed, couldn’t one express dependence by diligently following the assembly directions? And isn’t rejection of the manual tantamount to dependence on oneself?
Please Don’t Try to be Profound
The first mistake of rookie preachers or Bible study leaders is trying to be profound.
I remember my first study. I had convinced two J/V football players and a skateboarder from my freshman hall to discuss the Bible with me. They didn’t know Christ yet, and I wanted to be the one to win them to him. Good teachers had influenced me deeply, and I wanted to influence others the same way.
We met two or three times, and I gave it all I had. But all I had wasn’t good enough. They lost interest and stopped showing up.
Profundity Strangles Influence
Now I don’t mean to suggest that my overzealous attempt to influence was the only factor in their lack of interest. I simply want to suggest that we get in trouble when we put things in the wrong order.
We teach the Bible because we want to minister to people. But people are like wet bars of soap, and you know what happens when you squeeze too hard. Teaching the Bible so you can influence people is like getting married so you can have sex. You’ll feel really good about yourself for a little while, but you won’t be either satisfied or effective for very long.
Chuck Olsen (2009), Creative Commons
Because I love to get a “Wow” response from people, I turn to my ingenuity to produce new heights of “Wow.” I can even do this in the name of Christ and succeed for a time. But I’ve shifted the attention from the Lord to myself, and the endeavor is destined to implode because I’ve disconnected myself from the vine.
Dependence Produces Love
For this reason, the first practice for preparing effective Bible studies is to depend on the Lord. Jesus explains godly dependence in John 15:
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5, ESV)
Countless mystical interpretations have been given for what it means to abide in Jesus, but the context leaves little doubt:
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. (John 15:9-10)
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. (John 15:12)
I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide….These things I command you, so that you will love one another. (John 15:16-17)
Jesus describes the flow of vitality and power through the following grid: The Father loves Jesus→Jesus loves his disciples→The disciples love others. The disciples get the power to love by abiding in Jesus’ love. Jesus gets the power to love by abiding in the Father’s love. Thus, if anyone in the chain unplugs from the sequence, he loses power, and his fruit dies. In other words, he’ll fail to love.
So what does it mean to abide in Jesus? It means that we abide in his love. We grab hold of it and never let it go. We remind ourselves of his love by thinking and speaking of it incessantly.
What is Jesus’ love? It’s not a mystical or emotional experience, but the act of laying down his life to make his servants into his friends (John 15:13-15). It’s the message of the gospel.
What does it mean to bear fruit? It means, of course, that we love others by laying down our lives for them.
Love Unlocks Joy
What does all this have to do with leading Bible studies?
When we try to be profound, we’ve disconnected ourselves from Jesus’ love. We’ve turned from the message of his death for sin, and we’ve turned to our own need to be needed. The solution to this problem is to get reconnected to the vine, to depend on the Lord and his love.
Trusting in Jesus and his love for us frees us in a few ways:
- We’re free to discover more than create. What cleanses people is not our love for them but Jesus’ word to them (John 15:3). This removes the pressure of having to create a brilliant lesson, study, or sermon. We can simply discover what Jesus has already spoken in the text and then speak that very message to others.
- We’re free to repeat the same things over and over. We don’t have to come up with something nobody has ever heard before. This removes the pressure of having to think perfectly on our feet. We can simply abide in Jesus’ love, telling the old, old story time and again.
- We’re free to lay down our lives to serve. We don’t need to get other people to make us feel good. This removes the pressure of having to evoke certain responses or outcomes. We can simply shape our studies in a way that will serve these people at this time.
Compared to profundity, love is not only more honoring to God; it’s also much more fun. It eliminates anxiety and produces satisfaction. “These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full” (John 15:11).
Growth Groups: Colin Marshall
Colin Marshall has been training people in small groups ministry for over 25 years, and he’s given the rest of us a superb manual in his Growth Groups: A Training Course in How to Lead Small Groups. Over the last year, I worked through this material with the co-leader of my small group. Few books have influenced me as deeply as this book has.
Marshall covers everything from small group strategy to Bible study preparation to leadership development. He explains how to ask good questions. He demonstrates how to respond to difficult people. His manual is short and to the point. His writing is clear. His use of Scripture is remarkably careful and inspiring.
Here are some of my favorite nuggets:
Christian groups are not primarily about helping people with their problems…The focus of Christian groups is growth, not problems.
As well as communicating the meaning of the Bible, the studies we prepare should teach good habits for interpreting the Bible.
We tend to give commentaries more authority than they deserve.
To apply the Bible to our group we need to be studying and understanding our group members and the context in which they are living as Christians.
These are sure-fire conversation stoppers: saying an answer is wrong, refusing to discuss an issue, or saying ‘It’s different in the Hebrew text.’
Even though he is teaching through discussion, the leader must be able to guide the group to right conclusions.
We don’t want to become spiritual guides for people and make them dependent on us rather than God.
If you’d like a decent resource to help you learn to lead a small group (or train others to lead them), I couldn’t recommend this book any more highly.
A few warnings:
- Forget about buying this one from Amazon. I’m not sure why Amazon has weird editions (perhaps it has something to do with the book’s being published in Australia). Just go with Westminster Bookstore.
- Be careful not to end up with the Trainers Notes (basically, the leader’s manual) unless you get it in addition to the regular/student manual.
- Watch out! Marshall will challenge your assumptions about the purpose of small groups, how to handle needy people, and what to do if your group loses steam.
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Disclaimer: The WTS Books links are affiliate links, which means that this blog receives a small portion of the proceeds from any purchases you make after clicking. Thanks for your support.
Another Way to Think About Bible Studies
Hector Alejandro (2010), Creative Commons
Sometimes I think of Bible studies not according to who will attend, but according to what I expect of those who attend.
- Low Commitment Bible studies work best for situations where we need to make it easy as possible for people to get into the word. The leader expects people simply to show up and take part in the discussion as they have thoughts. Such studies work well as a 5-minute introduction to a business meeting, a short investigative study, or as the very first introduction for people to the OIA method of Bible study. In many situations, low commitment is a good thing.
- Moderate Commitment Bible studies work best for situations where people want more out of the Scripture, but they still need a lot of guidance. In such studies, the leader expects people to commit to attending the study and at least to read the passage beforehand. At the meeting itself, the leader might not even read the text but can dive right in to the discussion.
- High Commitment Bible studies work best for situations where people need to be challenged beyond what they might find comfortable. In such studies, the leader expects people to spend 1-5 hours studying the passage personally before each meeting. The leader may expect group members to come to the meeting ready to share what they think is the author’s main point. At a meeting for one such study, I once prohibited participants from using their Bibles. I expected them to have spent enough time studying the text that they could discuss it from either their notes or their memory. (Note: I did that for only one meeting, and it was a wild ride, but my purpose was to stress the commitment required, not to direct anyone’s attention away from the text itself.)
The key to increasing commitment is to give homework. It’s really pretty simple. I know I’m talking about a Bible study, and such things are usually free and easy because we want more people to attend.
But people will get out of it as much as they put into it. And they’ll place higher value on things that cost them more. So why can’t we ask them to prepare for each Bible study meeting?
One significant danger here is that we may have different group members ready for differing degrees of commitment. In a single Bible study, we’re likely to ask too much of some people and too little of others. At such times, it may be helpful to split the group into different studies with different commitment levels. Or we may need to feed a ready-for-higher-commitment person with an opportunity to co-lead the study or receive more training outside the study.
As I lead Bible studies, I ask myself if I’m calling people to a commitment level proportional to their maturity and to Christ’s expectations for them (Matt 11:28-30, Luke 9:57-62). And I make frequent changes based on what will be most helpful at the time. Bible studies that never change year after year may just be a recipe for complacency.
Question: In what contexts do you think differing degrees of commitment are warranted?
What Kind of Bible Study Should You Lead?
Not all Bible studies are created equal. Some are more effective than others with particular groups of people. So how do you decide what sort of study to lead?
Georgia National Guard (2013), Creative Commons
One common approach is to define your Bible study group based on what sort of people you expect to attend. The strength of this approach lies in the process of putting yourself in other people’s shoes and designing your Bible study in a way that best serves the group. Expert marksmen will choose the best model to fit the people God has given them.
So you might think in categories like this:
- Investigative (or Evangelistic) Bible Studies introduce unbelievers to the claims of Jesus in the Gospels. We might even call these groups “Bible discussions” to make them sound more approachable to unchurched people.
- Growth Bible Studies help professing believers to deepen their walks with Christ.
- Training Bible Studies teach people how to study the Bible for themselves and thus equip mature believers to use careful OIA skills in their personal Bible study.
- Leadership Bible Studies encourage church or small group leaders with biblical principles for shepherding others with the word.
- Devotional Bible Studies help committee members or retreat participants to ground their meetings in truth from God’s word.
Thinking in such categories help us to lay down our lives for others and tailor our approach to their needs. We think proactively about who will attend, and we work to create a positive user experience for group members.
However, there are also a few dangers to this approach.
- We might tend to think of some Bible studies as “OIA studies” and other studies as “not OIA studies.” But no matter who attends our studies—believer or unbeliever, mature or immature—we should always do thoughtful OIA study. OIA is the best method we can use whenever we approach the Scriptures.
- We might be led to believe that some Bible study groups need to focus on the gospel, while others need to focus on the Christian life or discipline or growth. But we should see the gospel of Jesus Christ in every passage of Scripture, regardless of who attends the study.
- We might expect some Bible studies to focus on application and other studies to focus on education. But God wrote the Scripture to produce change in all who read it. No Bible studies should be mere intellectual exercises.
As you figure out what sort of Bible study to lead, another set of categories may help you avoid these dangers. Next week I’ll offer another proposal.
Question: What other kinds of Bible studies could we add to our list?
The Best and Worst Part of T4G
I’m on my way home from Together for the Gospel (T4G), a biennial conference for pastors and church leaders. This was my first time attending, and I find myself refreshed and re-energized for the next season of ministry.
T4G is big. It’s held in a big arena (KFC Yum! Center, home of the University of Louisville basketball team). It draws a big crowd (over 7,000 this year). It sends every attendee home with a big stack of books (I have 44). There’s a big screen, big singing, and big lines for the restrooms.
The biggest thing about it, however, is the lineup of speakers. Perhaps you’ve heard of some of these men:
- Mark Dever
- Thabiti Anyabwile
- Al Mohler
- Kevin DeYoung
- David Platt
- Matt Chandler
- Ligon Duncan
- John MacArthur
- John Piper
These men have big ministries and big personalities. I imagine most attendees are drawn to T4G for the opportunity to sit under such colossal preachers of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Therein lies what I found to be both the best and worst thing about T4G: our time in the word of God.
Some of the speakers delivered the word with such clarity and power that I’ll feel the effects for years to come.
- David Platt spoke of Moses’ intercession for the people of God in Exodus 32 and 33. Moses knows the perfections, purposes, and promises of God are unchanging, but the plans of God are unfolding. Therefore, he pleads for God’s mercy on sinners. He pleads for God’s presence and power among his people. He pleads for God’s glory in the earth. Now, every time I read Exodus 32-33, these points will stick with me.
- Ligon Duncan spoke of Numbers 5:1-4 and God’s purpose for expelling from the camp people with skin diseases, discharges, and contact with dead bodies. But Luke shows Jesus touching lepers, bleeders, and the dead. He does what the Old Testament code could not do: He makes them clean. How does he make the unclean clean? By going outside the camp himself to suffer their reproach (Heb 13:10-13). Thanks to Dr. Duncan, I’ll never read Leviticus and Numbers the same way again.
- John MacArthur spoke of the mass defection of Jesus’ disciples in John 6, and he drew out piercing implications for our ministries in our churches. He showed me how to read and understand this long and difficult chapter.
- John Piper explained why Romans 9 comes after Romans 8, and how the incredible promises of Romans 8 would mean nothing without the truths of Romans 9. So many Jews in Paul’s day didn’t believe Christ. Did this mean God was being unfaithful to his promises to them? And if so, how could we ever be certain of his promises to us (no condemnation, no separation from his love)? Piper gave me a broad context in which to read Romans 8-11, and that context will help me to study these chapters in greater detail on my own.
These were the highlights for me.
What was the common thread? These best parts of T4G all came when speakers gave me confidence that I could do what they were doing. They showed me how to see what they were seeing in the Scripture. I learned how to read and study and apply and teach these texts. I won’t need to listen to the recordings of these talks over and over to be filled with the truth. These men launched me into deeper study of God’s word, increased hope in Christ, and more fervent desire for the salvation of unbelievers.
What was the worst part of T4G?
It came at those times when I found myself sitting there thinking:
- “I could never do what this guy is doing.”
- “This speaker is way smarter than anyone else in the room, especially me.”
- “Wow, praise God for raising him up to have such influence for Christ, but no-one else listening to him will ever be able to replicate his teaching when they leave this conference.”
Now there is much sin in my heart, and sometimes my inability to get moving simply results from my own dullness.
But I wonder, too, if there’s a downside to the “bigness” of such a lineup. While some teachers are more skilled at “showing their work”—thus inspiring their hearers to continue what they have begun—others do a better job of wowing and impressing. And what can I say? I usually love to be wowed and impressed.
T4G had its fair share of wowing and impressing. But the wowing and impressing will be forgotten as soon as I get home and have to help with the backlog of dishes and yard work and play time with my kids. I’ll also have to get right to work on a pile of projects at work.
The moments of real training, however, will bear fruit long into the future.
